Dear Jessica

 Dear Jessica:

    You're beloved person I've ever met. Whenever you're alone, I think you just be quiet and don't want to bother others. You take notice to others and shrink yourself to one little dot, comparing others' feelings that you think bigger than you. That's nothing wrong to care about others, but you should put more attention to your feelings ignored by you long time ago. You desered the best caring of your HEART which I will do for the rest of my life, I promise you.

Yours,

Jason

2015.11.18 Wed.

懺悔信 2014.05.12.Mon.

     曾幾何時我任憑那猛虎出閘般的憤怒狂奔出我心靈深處的地牢，放肆地撕咬我對快樂的感受，那隻猛獸太傲慢，嗜血成性的牠不願捨去食物鏈頂端的腥味，寧願征服也不願意施捨一絲肉末。我不再喜悅，我染上了一種叫憤世嫉俗的毒癮，我沒有一刻停止批評，明明該奮發，而我卻發憤。恨意侵蝕我殘破的靈魂，它千瘡百孔，一點歡愉也與它沾不上邊，隨之而來的只有傷口被觸碰的疼痛，相較傷口形成時的痛苦，它若隱若現，直接的攻擊還比較好受，對我遲鈍的身體來說，去分辨這模稜兩可的感受，那絕對是個大災難；我不可能只承受這麼一次，無論如何，我都會再一次經歷，我會將它視為對我的懲罰。

自我介紹

 2/14

交給干干的卡片和德芙，祝她生日快樂。

不知道要如何與悲劇、宜芳和好，宜芳氣妳很久了。

妳，想通了嗎？不是妳，就別亂當。

Don't be the one never being you, or you're never yourself.

搞清楚妳是誰。

（那時候我高中的人際關係毀掉了，抱歉了朋友們。）

季芹還在氣我，沛涓說，只能讓時間解決，妳和她的橋樑會有再次建起的那天。

My problem is never ever being true to myself.

I'm angry with outside world, boiling that emotion and planting anguish in the depth of my brain.

I hate everyone around in some extreme way, and other days that makes me feel strongly regret.

Happiness for me just concept that I will never consider it out of the word it is.

I'm looking for it for my whole life and find nothing but depression.

我會對人好是因為我知道這對其他人多麼重要。

(Just)some people for me.

我只有哭。I'm just crying, sitting beside somebody. I knew I suppose to say something happened to me, what I face with. I do want to talk, but I just can't speak out, so I let my tears replace to the words that need to be spoken out, hoping that the world can stop for a while so that tears in front of my eyes won't fall to the ground.

傷心完（有結束過嗎？）就馬上說自己好了，這是催眠自己。

路途的前方沒有激川、懸岸和深谷，自己還是可以走過。

我蹲在地上，一旦馬上站起，就會頭昏眼花，站不住腳，還跌到了，摔得很重。

2/15

今天看了美國隊長、悲慘世界。

波普先生的企鵝中，有隻企鵝叫作隊長，但她是女生。

一整天都在台北這裡。

星期日把檔案（小插畫）上傳上去。

也許，說不定，只是種可能性，妳又會聽到什麼。

那不僅是妳察覺到、意識到。

妳突然了解到，也許會讓妳措手不及，妳因此分離。

2/16

妳心裡明白自己會遭遇什麼，一清二楚。

周圍的空氣不在妳的掌控內。

妳所享有的全然是和別人共享，卻毫無交集的，更沉重的氣氛。

妳已經在這樣的情勢下背負起有如兩好三壞，一、二壘有人，二人出局，身為一個投手，妳也許能夠控球，確保妳毫無失誤的投出那顆，打者不會預見的好球還是壞球，妳只要避免觸身球就行了。